My Two Cents: RED INSIDE by Bridgett Nelson

I hate spiders. Thus, when confronted by the cover for "Red Inside" by Bridgett Nelson, which features an arachnid of unusually large proportions bursting out of a child's screaming mouth, my initial reaction as a reader was not just "nope" but "Hell, nah!" But I kept hearing good things about it, so despite my initial, knee-jerk reaction, I decided I'd give it a chance and check the story out. As it turns out, I'm really glad I did. While the book didn't change my mind about spiders whatsoever, it did prove to be a fast-paced, fun-filled, campy read that never takes itself too seriously, and adheres to the Sam Raimi principle that with enough technicolor gore, anything is possible.

In "Red Inside," beleaguered nurse Bethany is coming to the end of a very long shift at the hospital where she works. She's looking forward to kicking back once she's off the clock -- especially after a flirtatious exchange with a pretty coworker named Michelle promises there may be more than just rest and relaxation waiting for her when she punches out. Nothing is going to spoil Bethany's optimistic outlook for both her upcoming time off and the promise of a new romance -- not even getting a last-minute admission (which, if you're a nurse, is pretty much the bane of your existence). But when her patient rolls in from the Emergency Room, he's a bloated, screaming, cussing mess: Dr. Francisco Delgado, an arachnologist who has recently returned from a trip to Peru, where he'd been sent to study a previously undiscovered and highly aggressive species of tarantula. Dr. Delgado begs Bethany to "get it out of him," and although at first she has no clue what "it" could possibly be, I'm guessing that based on the cover art for this story alone, the reader already has a pretty sinking suspicion.

Spoiler alert: Yes, it's a spider -- the aforementioned previously undiscovered tarantula species, in fact. Not only are they hyper-aggressive, but they're parasitic, too, burrowing into the bodies of their host victims before devouring them from the inside out. They lay their eggs in the gory husks that remain, or spread them from one live host to another through vomitous insemination. Bethany's trusted nursing assistant Trudy is the first to be befouled when Delgado blows chunks in her direction, and once infected, Trudy goes from room to room throughout the hospital spreading the love...or at least, the vomited parasitic hyper-aggressive parasitic spiders.

Within hours, the entire hospital is awash in puke, blood, and bodily fluids, plus crawling with a bunch of hungry spiders to boot. To top it off, Bethany, Michelle, and a ragtag team of their coworkers and patients are trapped inside, unable to leave thanks to armed National Guardsmen stationed outside every entry to the facility, forcing them to remain quarantined. It's certain death to try and escape, but just as sure a horrific fate if they remain. So what's a girl and her almost-soon-to-be-girlfriend to do?

"Red Inside" is an absolute blast, calling to mind the raucous fun of "Zombieland," "Shaun of the Dead," or "Evil Dead II." It's a no-holds-barred, take-no-prisoners wink and a nod to classic horror-comedy goodness that knows how to lean in the latter without compromising the former. Definitely one of my favorite reads so far this year -- even with the spiders.

"Red Inside" is available here.