My Two Cents (TV Review): THE BEAUTY on FX/Hulu

So I binge-watched all available episodes of FX's "The Beauty" on Hulu yesterday. In case you haven't heard of it, it's the new adaptation of a graphic novel series by the same name. The show's created by Ryan Murphy, the brains (depending on you POV) behind "American Horror Story," "Grotesquerie," "Glee," and other programs.

Granted, if I'd known he was behind the hot mess that was "Grotesquerie," I would've in all likelihood passed on watching "The Beauty." But because "The Beauty" stars Evan Peters who, among other acting accolades, starred in the absolute BEST screen adaptation of Quicksilver EVER and who is pretty much phenomenal in anything else I've ever seen him in, I decided I'd give it a shot.

This, despite the fact the promos make it seem like a Dollar Tree knock off of "The Substance." (Before I realized it's source material, which the promo seems to avoid invoking for some reason).

This, also in spite of the fact it also has Ashton Kutcher in it, given that (a) I have always found him to be extremely grating, even before his big fall from Hollywood grace, and (b) the sheer tackiness of casting him in a show that, as previously mentioned, is billed as a knock off of a movie his ex-wife starred in. Just ick.

However, Evan Peters as the series lead convinced me to put aside the Ashton Kutcher ick-factor and tune in.

In the show, he plays an FBI agent who's helping an international task force investigate a series of incidents involving beautiful people going bonkers and spontaneously exploding in public venues. The series opens with one such incident, featuring supermodel Bella Hadid as said bonkers/exploding babe. Peters and his FBI partner, who he happens to be banging, fly out to Venice to assist in the forensic examination, and in the process discover the cause is a virus that's transmitted through unprotected sex.

Yep. It's like chlamydia, only a whole lot messier. For starters, once you're infected, you develop a scorching fever. Like thermonuclear radiation-grade. And you're really thirsty. This is over emphasized on multiple occasions. Very, very thirsty. And then you get really bitchy. And violent. And then you switch out for your stand-in stunt double, who is a skilled contortionist, and twists and torques your arms and legs and neck and spine into all kinds of interesting, painful looking positions. This is followed shortly by you puking up some kind of icky, sticky membrane which then engulfs your entire body, and after a few hours, once you wriggle out again, you're covered head to toe in sticky, icky ooze, and beneath that: you're hot. Like Bella Hadid hot.

Yep, it's like chlamydia, and it makes you Bella Hadid. That is, if you don't have a psychotic breakdown then explode shortly thereafter.

As it turns out, the virus is a super-secret thing that was supposed to only be for the uber rich and powerful to enjoy, but somehow it gets out and up the wrong person's snatch. So then, the common folks are out spreading it around, making everyone hot, and of course, to tie up loose ends and prevent anyone from finding out, the uber rich sic a hired assassin to go and kill anyone who's been infected/affected, or knows about the bug.

We're early enough in the show to just scratch the surface on this complicated tale, and get introduced to our main cast of players. This includes Peters, of course, as well as Kutcher as the asshole uber-rich mastermind behind the scheme, and Antony Ramos from "In The Heights" and "Hamilton" as the yacht-rock loving master assassin.

(Not going to lie: Seeing/hearing Ramos sing along with Christopher Cross's 1980 hit "Sailing," while costar Jacques Spivey looks on in horror is one of the better moments in the show so far.)

There's also a slew of recognizable faces in the secondary cast, like the aforementioned Hadid, or Megan Trainor, in a scene playing opposite Ben Platt that is seriously one of the funniest damn things I've seen in awhile. (Who knew Ryan Murphy had such a knack for tapping into undiscovered acting talent in pop culture figures?? In addition to this great turn from Trainor, he cast Travis Kelce in "Grotequerie," which was one of few pleasant surprises in that stinker of a show.)

The best casting, however, has to be Isabella Rosselini's cameo turn as Franny Frost, wife of Kutcher's billionaire asshole character. Anyone who remembers 1992's campy "Death Becomes Her," in which Rosselini peddles a miracle tonic that promises eternal beauty and youth to those rich enough to afford it, will appreciate her turn in "The Beauty," as one who's fully aware of the existence of just such a miracle, thanks to her husband, but unlike him, has opted not to indulge in and instead, is aging gracefully.

Because of the young/hot virus's method of transmission, there's a lot of sex in this show. I mean a lot. People bonk like they're in a Bentley Little book.

There's also the fact that despite settings in some of the world's most popular tourist destinations, like Venice, there seems to be a pointed lack of other people in a lot of the shots. Seriously - there's a sequence where Peters in trying to outrun some thugs who jump him in Venice, and they're literally hauling ass down empty street after empty street. It's conspicuous and strange.

Overall, "The Beauty" wasn't nearly as painful to sit through as another Hulu show I recently watched despite my better judgment: "All's Fair." Like "All's Fair," there's enough going on to make things interesting, and a capable enough cast to make me feel forgiving for the things that bug me about it so far. Even Ashton Kutcher. I credit Evan Peters in particular for this, because he could read the ingredients label off a cereal box, and I'd probably watch - he's a good actor, and he makes the most of this role.

So yeah, long story short: is it worth watching? So far, yeah, sure. I mean, I'm snowed in. I'm getting over a cold. I'm in between books, having just finished reading "Porcelain Lullaby."

Will I continue watching? Yeah, probably. I'm a big enough Peters fan that it cancels out my natural revulsion at Ashton Kutcher's presence. Plus, like I said, I made it through all seven or so episodes "All's Fair" and somehow my retinas didn't detach. Hit me again, Hulu - bring it on!